Living with a toddler: There are days I laugh so hard I cry. There are days I question every decision I make. And there are days I cannot believe I have to tell another human [our toddler] to please stop “Scooby farting” on people.
I am not sure if it is a boy thing, a toddler thing, or just simply a my kid thing. But more often than not I am left for a loss of words when it comes to our son. Which if you know me personally, me for a loss of words does not happen that often.
Scooby Farts
A “Scooby fart” is something our son made up after watching the Scooby Doo movie around Halloween. The one and only scene he seemed to speak to him was the one where Shaggy and Scooby Doo have a farting contest. Of course, from that moment forward everything was a “Scooby fart.” When our son farts, “Scooby fart.” When we wants to be silly “Scooby fart.” When we are at church, “Scooby fart.” When he wants to be silly, “Scooby fart.” You get the picture.
It got to a point where we had to have a conversation with him about when it is appropriate to say and do Scooby farts [the bathroom]. I found myself sort of laughing, sort of embarrassed when I was typing a note to his teacher to “Please make sure that he only Scooby farts in the bathroom. Not at the table and not on friends.” I have now graduated to a place in life where I have to tell people [my toddler] not to fart on others. Pretty sure they never covered that in the book “What to Expect When You Are Expecting.”
Potty Training
I would be lying if I said Scooby farts were the first time bodily functions were leaving us with awkward conversations at school, with friends, family and even complete strangers. Can you imagine a toddler saying “Scooby fart” to someone at church and then asking “What did he say?” Hard to make something up on the fly with that.
During the summer we were in the midst of potty training our 2-year-old with a goal of having him fully trained before our second one arrived. One in diapers? Yes please! It was a Monday and if my toddler did not pick up the speed in getting ready, I was going to be late for work.
As soon as we had one foot out the door he said, “Mommy I need to go potty!” As a parent you know this is a HUGE milestone.
One: You will now find yourself saying “potty” (ex: excusing yourself from a meeting to go “potty” then quickly realizing you are in a room full of adults and correct yourself “I mean restroom.”
Two: You will find yourself discussing peeing, pooping and potty regularly with people mainly at work, at the gym, etc. Because clearly grown adults talk about that all of the time. No, no they don’t. Unless they have kids who are also potty training.
Three: the most important thing is your kiddo is now realizing when they have to go to the bathroom, which is a HUGE win!
So when he told me he had to go potty, it was worth being late for work. I quickly ran him back into the house and sat him on the toddler potty. Shortly after that he said “Mommy I did it! I went poop!” My job was done for the day. Not only had he told me he had to go, but he went! I was thrilled!
He quickly jumped up and turned around to look at the potty and said, “Wow, I pooped a hippo.” At that moment I paused and said, “Excuse me…Come again?!” He said, “That looks like a hippo mommy.”
There were a number of things going through my mind all of which were highly inappropriate to say to my proud 2-year-old. All I could say was, “Wow! I am so proud of you! A hippo…great work!” What I really wanted to say was, “What the [insert any 4 letter word]?! Who taught you to make animal shapes out of your poop?” But, I kept that to myself, gave him a KitKat as a treat/job well done and rushed out the door.
After dropping him off at school, I called my husband to share the exciting milestone. Then I said, “By the way he said he pooped a hippo.” My husband laughed and then said, “He pooped a hippo? Did he eat a toy hippo?”
Valid question having a 2-year-old I responded, “No he did not eat a toy to my knowledge. He is making animal shapes out of his poop…like people do with clouds. Not sure if he learned this at school or from you but regardless probably should get to the bottom of this because it is weird.”
Today
Thankfully my husband had not been encouraging animal poop shapes with our son, otherwise there would have needed to be some serious conversations in our house. But the animal poop shapes did not stop with that one time. There were hippos, whales, turtles…it went on for awhile. Luckily, the animal shapes have pretty much stopped. Occasionally, I will hear him say what his poop looks like but I ignore him because I know he is looking for a response from me.
While the animal poop shapes may have stopped, the Scooby farting has not. Just today we called to wish my mom a happy birthday bright and early. Our toddler said “Happy Birthday! Scooby fart!” Clearly I have my work cut out for me. The next 16+ years with two boys and a husband should be nothing short of an adventure.