The new year has been eventful to say the least. We decided to reno (when I say we, we hired people as we are not capable of doing it ourselves) our main level. The two week project ended up taking six weeks. With two dogs and two small humans, it made everyday life challenging. The dust has finally settled (literally and figuratively) and we are getting back to our normal routines. Which includes having time to blog again!

Sunday mornings are one of the few mornings we sit down as a family for breakfast. During the week we are rushed, trying to get everything and everyone out the door on time. I enjoy TV shows that portray families eating the same thing: pancakes, eggs, fruit, etc. with pleasant conversations. If you have a family like that. You are #winning.

My family? With a 3 year-old and 1 year-old, eating the same thing? Not a chance. Pleasant conversations with no one crying? Yeah right. This morning all four of us ate something different. I considered it a win that we were all around the table for a meal.

I’m not sure if it is a boy thing or just being a mom of small humans thing. Regardless, I never imagined the things I would have to say to another human, “get your bare butt off the wall, get your bare butt of the couch, go take a shower you smell like butt, get your hands out of your pants…I promise it won’t fall off, don’t grab the poop, don’t lick the vending machine, don’t lick the door handle…” I could go on and on.

At this point in life, with the amount of conversations I have had around butts, farts, poop, etc., nothing really fazes me. Hoping it isn’t just my kids…maybe it is a #boymom thing? Ha!

This morning what I had failed to realize was the book our 3 year-old brought downstairs. It was his fart book sitting right next to him at breakfast. My mom bought the book for him about a year and a half ago. They went shopping at Target, not for the book, but found it there and “had to get it.” The book explains the different types of farts and even makes noises for each. I am sure you are all dying to run to Target to get this book. I thought I had hid the book from our 3 year-old. Clearly not well enough.

I was hoping maybe the chocolate chip pancakes would be enough of a distraction from the fart book at his fingertips. Wishful thinking on my part. As I was trying to enjoy a nice Sunday morning breakfast, my 3 year-old started pushing the different fart noises. Our 1 year-old thought it was hilarious.

I sat there wondering why can we never have a “normal” breakfast?! Of course my husband had to join in. He asked our 3 year-old what number fart sound was his favorite. REALLY?!?! WTF! In that moment clearly I was the only adult at the table. I would love to say this morning was a one-off, but inappropriate conversations happen at our table more often than not.

A few weeks ago we were headed to dinner. We each were buckling a kid up in the car. Our 3 year-old said, “Dad smell my finger.” I looked at my husband and said, “Don’t do it.” My husband of course smelled his finger. All I can say is men… My husband immediately said, “OMG why does your finger smell so awful?” Our 3 year-old started laughing and said, “Because it was in my butt!” I wanted to throw up. I was crying I was laughing so hard. My husband of course was less amused and told our son never to do that again. All I could do through my tears and laughing was say, “I warned you!” Never a dull moment.

Sooo, who wants to come over for a meal?