We recently hit a big milestone in our household: one month as a family of four. The last month has been filled with baby snuggles and kisses, super cute newborn clothing, cries that you do not know how to answer “are you hungry, need a diaper, need to burp…” and sleepless nights. Oh so many sleepless nights. 

We keep asking ourselves was our first son like this? It wasn’t that long ago that he was a newborn, yet it is funny how we seem to block out what can only be described as survival mode. I reason with myself: I am two years older, so it must be harder this time because I am no longer in my twenties. Or maybe it is because I didn’t have a toddler at home the first time around. Regardless here I am. 

Reflecting back at the beginning of this year, our oldest son was turning 2 and we were FINALLY starting to feel confident in our parenting abilities, so we thought adding a second kiddo would not be that much of a change. Generally, we had fallen into a solid routine. Everyone would make it out the door [sort of] on time to work and daycare, we had time to workout and eat dinner together as a family. We felt like we had time. 

Time…while there has never been enough of it, these days with a newborn and toddler I’m really feeling there is not enough time. It has become very clear that 1 kid + 1 kid DOES NOT = 2. The days fly by when I am home with our newborn. The evenings fly by once my husband and toddler are home. And the nights currently standstill as our newborn dislikes his bassinet. 

My “to-do” list continues to grow. I had high hopes of accomplishing house projects while on maternity leave. One month in and none of them have been started. But to be honest I am not even completing our normal day-to-day tasks in a timely manner these days, which has caused me some anxiety. 

Being a mama that solely pumps, dishes are non-stop, so that takes top priority. Next comes laundry, some of us need clothes to wear out in public. I am lucky if I get a daily 5 minute shower in, so I am indifferent to laundry being caught up. Then there are meals to be planned and prepped, Christmas gifts to be purchased and wrapped, and oh yea cleaning the house.

In the last month I have had to lower my standards for myself when it comes to housework. Coming to terms that if it doesn’t get done, everyone will be ok. My anxiety may not be ok, but that is where I try to make time for myself to workout. So instead of running around trying to check everything off of the never-ending house list, I prioritize snuggling our newborn and planning fun Christmas type activities with our toddler. And if I happen to check one or two things off of that list in a day, I feel like it has been successful. 

While it has become very clear to me that 1 + 1 does not = 2, I know “this too shall pass.” And it will pass quicker than any of us want it to. So I’ll drink way too many coffees, get my workouts in and enjoy these moments while they last. Eventually we block out the bumps in the road, but we never stop asking for more time.